


The World Just Happens

by SQ (proteinscollide)



Category: Bandom, Panic At The Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-21
Updated: 2007-04-21
Packaged: 2017-10-24 03:49:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/258637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/proteinscollide/pseuds/SQ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>These questions don't answer like other questions do / So just let me be here with you</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	The World Just Happens

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary from Deja Vu by Something for Kate.

Spencer stands at the end of the bed and wonders if he can really do this. He doesn’t take too long, because Ryan starts to raise his head from the pillow, and there’s a worried frown spreading over his features and Spencer thinks, _this is about trust_. Ryan’s saying that there’s no one he trusts at this point in time like this. So he climbs onto the bed, wobbling a little as the mattress sags under his knees, and crawls his way on top of Ryan.

“Hi,” he says when they’re face to face. It’s a silly thing to say, but Spencer can’t think of anything else to do in this situation. He needs to speak, to fill the silence, to ignore Ryan’s lips beneath him. “Hi, I’m Spencer and I’m your, um, your chosen partner for this thing.” It’s entirely not the joke he was trying for, but the last crease in Ryan’s forehead slides away as he laughs anyway in response, and Spencer can feel them both relax in that moment.

“Hi Spencer,” Ryan intones, still in joke mode, but then he tips his head forward and says against Spencer’s lips, “Thanks.” Spencer feels rather than hears that, right before they’re kissing and Spencer thought there wouldn’t be any kissing involved in this when he said yes to Ryan’s ridiculous proposal, but this is all about Ryan and he’s obviously the one setting the rules.

When Ryan stops to remove his t-shirt, Spencer eyes his skinny frame uneasily, until Ryan rolls his eyes and grabs Spencer’s hands and places them on him, on his stomach just under the hint of ribs. He holds them there for a moment, and their overlapping hands rise with and fall together. And it gives Spencer courage to take it from there, fingers skidding across the skin of Ryan’s belly to undo the buttons of his jeans, tugging on the denim a little too roughly, so that Ryan’s underwear is drawn down over his hips in the same movement, his cock springing free, hard already. Spencer closes his eyes and says, “Ryan, I – seriously.”

But he knows Ryan’s not going to give up so easily, and even as Spencer sits back on his heels, Ryan’s stripping the jeans from his legs the rest of the way with easy efficiency. Then he turns to Spencer and undoes the fly of his jeans, before he looks Spencer in the eye and says simply, “You promised.” He hands Spencer the tube from the bedside table, and lies back down on the bed, utterly convinced and ready.

The lube is cold and sticky, and Spencer grimaces as it spreads over his fingers, but he rubs his fingertips together, feeling the warmth generated, before he moves back towards Ryan. Ryan’s staring at the ceiling, and he’s actually humming, a tuneless almost soundless thrum. Spencer can’t tell if it’s anticipation or fear or boredom. But then Ryan reaches out and grabs Spencer by the wrist and draws him down until they’re pressed up against each other again, except this time Spencer can feel Ryan hard and naked against him, thin and needy. Ryan cups his other hand on the back of Spencer’s neck and they’re kissing again, dry lips brushing against each other clumsily before Spencer feels bold enough to put his tongue in Ryan’s mouth. The way it feels then, the slow burn in his chest, the way they’re directing each other’s breathing with the timing between each kiss, distracts him from realising that Ryan’s still holding on to his other hand by the wrist, until he’s placed Spencer’s hand against his ass, nudging against his fingers impatiently.

Spencer doesn’t think, he just does then, because if he stopped the thoughts in his mind would pile up, a jumble of _oh god_ and _what-_ and _I don’t know what I’m doing_ , fears and recriminations. He rubs against the entrance, sliding around and skittish, then as Ryan glares at him he slips one finger in and pushes against the resistance, not knowing where to look and settling on Ryan’s face. Ryan bites his bottom lip, but he doesn’t look particularly different, and Spencer gets the feeling that Ryan’s done a little experimenting on his own already. It annoys him for a moment that Ryan hadn’t disclosed that, and he pushes a second finger in without a word, twisting in a little viciously. Ryan has the grace to look a little startled, and his eyes dart to Spencer, who just licks his lips and smiles blandly back, and Ryan narrows his eyes and mouths, _add a third_ , like a challenge.

They settle into a rhythm, and Spencer almost forgets how weird this whole idea is, fucking his best friend on request, until Ryan shifts and puts one hand on Spencer’s thighs and rubs along the inside, a languid caress. “I’m ready,” he says, and Spencer jumps at the sound of his voice. He repositions himself unsteadily, and tries not to freak out as the head of his cock rubs against Ryan. “Are you sure?” he says, and Ryan answers, “Fuck, Spence, is now really the time to be asking?”

Ryan tenses, finally, as Spencer pushes in slowly. He holds Spencer’s gaze though, one hand wrapped around the top of Spencer’s arm, and as Spencer eases deeper he digs his fingers into the muscle, but not painfully. He stops for a little while, listening for Ryan to make some kind of sign, and it’s not until he hears that telltale hum again, a ragged but reassuring noise, that he moves, pushing in and pulling back a little to hear Ryan’s breath hitch into a sigh. It doesn’t take long before Ryan tilts his head back and his hips upwards, matching the pace that Spencer’s setting and urging him faster faster and more, until he shudders and cries out and comes messily over his stomach. Spencer’s shocked at how much it turns him on, a tight feeling deep and low inside him as Ryan slides his hands down his back to rest on his ass, pulling him in for those last few desperate thrusts.

There’s a muffled silence after. Ryan slumps against the bed, eyes closed and a satisfied look on his face. Spencer slides out and turns away, trying to catch his breath and put the chaos in his head back into order. He can hear Ryan shifting around behind him, the sound of tissues being crumpled and thrown into the bin, but they don’t say a word to each other. Spencer feels tired and worn, but his eyes won’t close, and he stares instead at the globe of the world on Ryan’s dresser, an odd birthday present from his father from a few years back. He traces the lines crisscrossing its blue face, and thinks about how his world feels like it just expanded and blew apart in the last hour. Ryan stays quiet, but when Spencer starts shivering, he feels Ryan press up against his back, drawing one arm around them both, and Spencer finally falls asleep to the strange content hum against his ear.

END


End file.
